I need help with a boyfriend problem…?Cars - Published on Saturday, May 15th, 2010 at 2:07 am
When my boyfriend and I first started going out, I was trying to find ways to break up with a long time “internet” friend who i was “dating.” It took a little while, but it officially happened when my boyfriend here went through my phone. We almost broke up, and had another problem where I told him I still cared for internet boy, but I want to be with him. We fought but things ended well.
Eventually, I had to get rid of all my ex boyfriends who became friends which was all fine. If i talk shit about a friend, he gets mad at me about it when things clear up the next day. I haven’t officially hung out with any of my friends for a good 6 months. I get called a push-over when I do for talking shit or explaining the situation in why my friends and I had a little disagreement. 6-7 months later, He started getting pissed off at me communicating with my guy friends. I know boys can be jealous, but I’m starting to realize now, he is constantly calling me. When I’m away from home or at school, he needs to know EVERYTHING about my day and ends up asking me if “anyone bothered me”… aka, if anybody of the male gender spoke to me. I can’t stand it. I talk to my guy friends still, but I have to keep it a secret. I had to delete every male gender excluding my cousins and his friends off my facebook, and same thing as my phone. One time, I was getting random text messages and when I found out who they were, I decided to save the numbers so the random messages wouldn’t cause a problem and we even fought about that. He claims it’s an insecurity of his, and because he doesn’t trust me from the first incident we had. Honestly, we’ve been going out 8 months now, and it’s been like that since the fist month. I feel like I will never be able to talk safely with my guy friends ever again.
Another thing that bothers me, that he claims he will fix is his temper problem. I’ve gone through abuse as a little girl with my father. When he yells, I get flashbacks of my father yelling at me, my mother, and brother. He even beats the shit out of his car, walls, furniture, etc.. His mother even see’s the shit he pulls, and tells me he is quite possessive. He’s also very negative about EVERYTHING.
I also got into a major fight with my mother where I agreed he could call CPS on her. That problem is gone, minus the fact I am currently grounded and I told my mother I was moving out as soon as I was 18 (February 10th)… I was so sure about it, but I told him I was gonna try to work things out at home, and when I am ungrounded, things will be fine. He gave me shit about that, and last night when we talked, I saw where he was coming from with talking about my mother, but I have a close connection with her, even though I would always feel depressed from how she made me feel. Either way, she was a father and mother figure to me and no matter what kind of bullshit she puts me through, I love her. She has always been there for me, but he fails to realize that. He tells me that if I remain here, things will only get worse. Even though that could be more true then false, I just feel in my heart that I cannot leave. He apparently can’t take the shit she puts me through which is why he is just telling me “you will be miserable there, you have been for the last almost 2 years.. you can’t do this to yourself”.. I will be leaving for college eventually, so I’m sure 5 more months won’t kill me.
I can’t take this shit he puts me through. He claims when he trusts me 100% instead of like.. 70, all this bullshit will end. I have perfected things, I sacrificed things, I do all I can and nothing seems to work. I fear that if I marry this guy, he will be happy being with me.. but, if I happen to go out, he will always call me like now, possibly follow me, look through my shit and more. I don’t want it to get to that point, but I don’t want to leave him but if things don’t improve and he doesn’t trust me in about another month/month 1/2, I may not have a choice.
Any advice in talking to him to make him see even though he makes me happy, he drives me insane? and how could I make this type of shit work?