Why does life treat me like shit?

Health Care - Published on Saturday, May 8th, 2010 at 1:34 am

I am a 26-year-old with many problems and difficulties in life. My father left us when we were very young and I have only bad memories of him. My mother then remarried another man, who brought us up and took care of us. My mother also made many sacrifices in her life to give us a proper life. I married around 3 years ago and went through a hellish experience with my mother-in-law and at that time, my husband was also jobless. I had to come back to my mother’s place and I had to live away from my husband for around a year. My mother-in-law stopped talking to me and she banned me from even visiting my husband’s place for that one year. Eventually, after that gap, my husband decided to come back to me after much resistance from his mother. It has been two years since he has started living with me and my mother-in-law has not spoken to my husband since then. My husband holds me responsible for it, but I never had any verbal fight with my mother-in-law. I used to confine myself in a room the whole day because I was scared of my mother-in-law and because she used to shout at me for no specific reason to create a negative image about me in my husband’s mind.

After coming to my mother’s place, I thought things would get better for me, but it never seems to improve. My mother is of dominating character and my stepfather displays the same behavior. I am not able to spend a single peaceful day. There is something or the other they bring up against my husband and I always have to fight with him. I am emotionally tortured between my parents and my husband. My husband feels I am not fulfilling my duties as a wife and my parents always accuse that I have no control over my husband because he takes all major and minor decisions in his life without even consulting me. My husband also is highly egoistic and always picks up on me. He wants us to move out of my parents home, but my parents are not okay health-wise and do not want us to move out. I am unable to decide anything, I feel like trash, I cannot breathe. To top it all, I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder and also from a hormonal imbalance due to which I am not able to conceive. I miss my doctor’s appointments because I feel bogged down by the behavior of the people around me and I care less about my health.

Upon doing self analysis, I came to know that since I am meek I am being used as a punching bag by everyone. Even at the lowest ebb, I prefer to hide my negative feelings and sadness from everyone and this in turn has led others to think that I am unaffected by everything and that I am not serious in life about anything. I am trying to be less jovial, less funny, but this is causing me more depression because this is my only defence mechanism, which is helping me survive.

Please do tell me what to do and how to find peace in this mad environment around me. Also, there are times when I think that the problem is not with others, but with me and that I am not a normal person (due to my obsessive-compulsive disorder).

I am currently in a frame of mind where I fear to wake up in the morning because of all the people I have to face and all the accusations I have to listen.

I would be grateful to you if you answer this question because I will be assured that at least someone has listened to what I have to say.

32 Comments to “Why does life treat me like shit?”

  • FreeSkier87 says:

    “When life gives you lemons…say fuck the lemons and bail.”

  • Kayleigh says:

    honey writing long questions on Y!A ensures bad karma – no wonder!

  • MovieMan says:

    Life sucks. Get a freaking helmet!

  • Benny Suspendy says:

    Voltaire said that we have to play the cards that life deals to us.

    You can either choose to see yourself as a victim or a victor.

    Either feel sorry for yourself because of life’s difficulties or be proud what you have overcome.

  • a v says:

    i read the whole thing

    good luck

  • Nicole K says:

    Hey, I’m listening.

    My e-mail is osucowgirl20@yahoo.com feel free to shoot me a message any time. I’m a great listener.

  • neffyiffy says:

    I mean this in the most genuine way possible that I think it would really help for you to take this to a good psychologist that you can connect with, cause that really helped for me when i was going through deep stuff

  • Lo! says:

    just so you know life treats everyone like shit… otherwise it wouldnt be life. NOBODY gets special treatment, so stop acting like youre the only person in the world with problems. it could always be worse.

  • T says:

    Life doesn’t treat you like s… you need to try and keep yourself open to the positive things in life, maybe seeing a counsellor could help you firstly. I mean if you don’t want to see one i understand, they are quite frustrating, but i think you need someone to talk too face to face that can help you.

  • X says:

    look i went through more shit in my life than anybody i know…life is fair…thats my conclusion…people say life is unfair…no life is very fair…

    some people get lucky and dont need to do anything for themselves their entire life…some people, have to do everything for themselves just to scrape by….but its random..and random is fair….you can only make the best decisions possible with what you have in front of you,…theres no sense bitching, because nobodys listening

  • girlcat says:

    Do whatever you can do to get a place of your own. You can’t stand this stress. If you want your life to be calm and peaceful, you’ll have to work at it. Work at McD.’s if you have to; you and your husband have no chance with either of your parents.

  • answer queen says:

    Everyone has problems. Life gives some people mommys and daddys with lots of money and yet those children of those kind of people turn out to be mess ups because they allows have rich mommy and daddy to bail them out. And then there is some people whose mother and father are gone and these people even have to be stuck raising their siblings for the rest of their lives. Just be strong. Keep calm and keep positive. It’s hard but everyone is trying to just survive.

  • cynthia . says:

    wow! uhhh maybe you shouldn’t have married. also, pray and go to church.

  • Susan B says:

    You and probably others in your life need professional help. Seek help please. Keep your doctor appointments and talk about all that you are feeling, they will point you in the right direction.

  • Matt P says:

    You don’t have to deal with all of this crap from these people that should care for you. You should go and speak with a therapist, it will help you and hopefully empower you to take back control of your life.

    Good Luck

  • luger says:

    like the first guy said when life gives you lemons say fuck the lemon and bail

    then if like tries to give you limes put the limes in a coconut and fuck it with a sledge hammer!!!!!!!

  • Vlish says:

    Well, based on this you have alot going on girl but just know we are never given more than we can handle. First off, you need to take a stand and let your husband know its either you or his mom because it seems like he can’t stand up to her. Next, you have to undertand as a married and grown woman that living in a household with parents and otherwise other adults this living arrangement will never work. You need to find a spot of your own to live because things will not get better. I can guarantee you that. Until you get your stuff together, come up with steps of what you need to do to fix the problems and then while your there youneed to abide by the romans rule” when in rome” because even though you are an adult , you will have lost priveleges becase your living with the parents. Unfortunate, I know but its just how it goes. Good luck!

  • Kezia M says:

    i stopped reading bcoz the only real solution to this is to
    declare the married Dissolved
    & move on wit your life
    even if u do love him
    but who knows what he has been doing in that time you have been away for that periods of time
    its most likely he hasnt been faithful in that amount of time
    & his mother is a fucking B*itch!

    seriously leave him hes not worth all the stress & being single rox!
    & you are only young
    & you will find a man who loves you for who ur
    including your obsessive compulsive dis.

    & a mother in law that will treat u the way a mother in law should.

    get a job & move out of your mothers place.
    ur 24 you can live on your own!!
    get someone to care for your mother & step father.

    you need a break from all of them

    in short
    tell the husband you are sick of him & want a divorce
    that ends the mother in law problem & the rude inconsiderate husband
    move outa home
    mum & dad problem gone
    get carers for them

    take a holiday wit your friends!
    go crazy
    put urself first for once
    & DONT STAY WIT YOUR HUSBAND
    I DONT CARE HOW MUCH YOU LUV HIM
    HES MAKING YOU FEEL SOOO CRAP
    HE AINT WORTH A SECOND OF YOUR TIME!!

  • Rick Asano says:

    Life can be tough. I think you need to have more of a “I don’t care” attitude….Screw your mother in law…you didn’t marry her….It would be nice if you could get along with her, but you can only do your part. You try to be the best person you can be and you be nice to her even when she’s trying to win the B**** of the year award. Get your priorities in order. Cut the crap out of your life, and focus on what means the most. Stay positive and stay beautiful.

  • Emmy says:

    Hun, you are not alone. I have problems in my life that I do not wish to share on the internet. Many people do. I know you don’t want to be told what to do, but if your husband is not going to get his act together, I think you should not be with your husband anymore. I know you probably love him and everything, but he is not treating you right. Also, he is letting his mother treat you bad. There are better men out there. He should be trying to make things better for you, not worse. He should defend you against his mother. If you choose to stay with him, you don’t need to let your parents make decisions for you two. You are your own family now. You don’t need them controlling your life. Good luck, and I hope things get better for you.

  • SilentSkye says:

    Honey it sounds to me that first you need to get rid of the husband, he seems to be the #1 problem that you have. He is in no way (from what you described) of ANY help to you or your family. Why are you with him? If it is sex, you can get that from batteries. Second, you need to start putting yourself first and not last. You are being walked all over, because you are allowing it to happen. When you have had enough you will need to take a stand and say enough is enough! Make people listen.

  • Bella says:

    Wow girl you are in a rough spot. Im sorry! And to those first three who responded to this first your jerks you dont deserve to answer to peoples problems just delete your account and do us all a favor. As for your problem it is a big one and cannot be solved easily. If you really want to change your life it will take alot of work and sacrifice. I think that you need to move away from your family and husband. Just live on your own for awhile get a seperation from your husband cause any man who will not back up his wife doesn’t love her. Tell him he needs to priritize his life. Then take some time for yourself. Address your health issues and get yourself strong. If your husband doesn’t change divorce him. No human being deserves to be treated the way you are being treated.

  • prettyG says:

    that’s a whole lot of stuff to handle

    to me, it doesn’t really matter about other people’s opinions.

    the only thing that matters is what i think, and its my choice
    just put it in your prospective
    do YOU think your husband doesn’t confront you about anything?

    also, i believe you should do something about this asap, cause you can go into depression by the looks of it.

    and go to the doctor!
    you never know what is happening in your body

    and for your mother in law, the fault is on her
    her son decided to marry you,
    and if he is happy with you, why is she getting mad?
    and plus, hes the one married to you, not her
    im pretty sure hes old enough to make decisions for himself

    what matters is your opinion
    if you believe in something do it
    do whatever your heart tells you to do
    because it’s YOUR future, not THEIRS.

    when im going through bad times i always think
    that things could always be worse, and
    what would happen if things were to be that way.

    oh and by the way, i hope the best for you and
    you dont deserve to be treated this way and
    your a very strong person and i admire your courage and strength
    to face this everyday :)

  • ~*~ Heidy ~*~ says:

    FIrst of all, you need to do what’s best for you!

    Life will always throw you curve balls, believe me ( I was released from my contract early today at work). However, you have to be confident that you will make the best decisions you can for you. You may want to help everyone, but you will be of no use if you can not help yourself. Don’t feel bad or sorry because there are circumstances that you can not control, that’s life! We are brought here to learn and to better ourselves.

    I can not advice you on what to do, because only you know the details of your situation. I can tell you that you can and will make the best decision when you are ready.

    Not ready? Try. Try to face what’s going on. Try to be happy. Try to think of a better future. Life is not handed to anyone on a silver platter, you must work for it, and you have to believe that you will achieve it. If you feel that no one is listening to you, then look for someone who will listen. If you can not afford a therapist, then call a hot-line or keep asking questions on Y!A.

    I truly wish you all the best of luck! And rest assured that you will always make the best decisions you can given all your circumstances. You need to believe me.

    If you feel that you would like to share more, feel free to message me through Y!A, I think there’s a link to message people.

    Take care.

  • Sheltie Lover says:

    It may not be easy, but you have to stand up for yourself. — I know how hard it can be, as I was a very meek person.

    The American advice columnist, Ann Landers, used to say: “No one can use you as a doormat … unless you are already down on the ground”. — In other words, we have to get up off the ground and stand up for ourselves.

    In my case, I had a very major health ordeal, and was so ill, I decided that people were going to have to “get off my case”, as I did not have the physical or mental energy to deal with them and their negative outlook.

    I bought several self-help books. — You can find them at the library or any bookstore. — They will help a lot in knowing how to handle the people and situations that come up in your life. — The main thing that I had to learn was NOT TO BACK DOWN when I knew I was right.

    Do you take medication for your OCD. — If so, you really need to be faithful about taking it. Being off your meds. can make you more susceptible to emotional let downs.

    Please don’t try to conceive a baby in the middle of all this….. It just wouldn’t be the best for you or your baby.

    I wish you the best!!!

    Agape’

    .

  • Alice says:

    Wow, it sounds like what you are going through is tough. At the risk of sounding cheesy or corny, I think that the first step to becoming comfortable in your situation is to be comfortable with yourself. Dont stop being jovial or funny, dont try to stop being anything, just be yourself. You have to remember that your husband didnt marry you for your money and certinly didnt marry you to please his family, he married you because he loves you. He may be egotistical but I think that this is just because he is at a place of insecurity with all the things going on around you guys. The insecurlty could also be from his mother possibly being controlling as he grew in to an individual being? I think that he probably cares a great deal for you if he is willing to sacrifice his relationship with his mother so that he can be with you. When things get rough you just need to remember that you love him and he loves you. As far as your parents go, I think that you need to appreciate your mother and stepfather because they have at least been there for you growing up, unlike your father, and you said that your mother has sacrificed a lot for you. They may be controlling but I think this is because they care for you. I know this responce sounds really cheesy and all about love but I think when it comes down to it your mental state is what is at risk. Your hapyness is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. I know that it is soo hard to look at the positive things but life is hard and sometimes those little things are all you have to keep you sane.
    I truly hope you good luck with your life!
    I hope I could be of some help!

    P.S. I know you cant have kids but there are millions of kids out there without a home when the time is right and you can handle a kid!

  • Elory says:

    I must say that that is quite a lot of negativity in one person’s life.

    First, write yourself a prescription to take a vacation from all of your problems for one week and follow that prescription to the letter.

    Then, ask yourself if your parents really want you to stay and care for them, since they verbally abuse you all the time.

    You must put your foot down, so to speak, and set up some ground rules for everyone around you to follow, IF they want you to remain in their lives.

    Then, let them know that if they continue to abuse you, you will leave home and be very sincere about it when you tell them and that includes your husband.

    Then, as long as they all follow the rules set before them, you stay and do what it is that you do, but the minute they step over the line, you pack a bag and leave. Live your life alone until you find friends that appreciate you and associate with them and stay away from those that abuse you.

  • sunsetsinMAY says:

    well first of all im sorry u r goin through so much all at one time.i no how it is to feel the same way u do because im goin thru alot right now.jus a differrent situation.what i tell myself is that if i pray long enough and hard enough,GOD will fix whatever is causin me so much pain.i jus tell myself he hasnt answered my prayer yet because there r alot of other people in front of me.so ill jus hold my place in line,and eventually it will b my turn for a blessin.somebody really close to me told me that sometimes u hav to be DEAD on the inside to hav life on the outside.i hope this helps.PEACE & LOVE. A.

  • Innocent Child says:

    because your dick is to small for you boy freind maybe u should go get a surgury to inlarge ur penis then u can b fucked by you

  • Jadana says:

    Even falling stars leave an unforgettable positive impression, to let you know as you fall you will also illuminate the darkness that surrounds you and the brightness overcomes the “fallen” aspect of yourself.

  • sassy says:

    maybe try moving out, but perhaps somewhere nearby, so that you are close to your parents WITHOUT having to live with them, you cant change them, they are old & set in their ways. FORGET about the mother in law! its hard but you only causing yourslf grief by worrying about her, i used to worry a great deal about what mine thought of me & then i realised that she would prob hate anyone her son ended up with. i hardly see her so i now hardly ever worry about her or her disliking me.
    Your husband has no respect for you, tell him things need to change or else he can go back to mother dearest. & trust me things WOULD NOT get better with him if you had children. you would just be even more trapped than you are now. good luck with it, only you can change things.

  • Random says:

    For all of you who say “tough luck, that’s life” you are clearly oblivious to what she is going through. She needs friendly advice, not a football coach. The play the hand your dealt statement only gos so far. I would recommend that you first just look at life objectively and drop the people that truly do not care for you. Its up to you to decide who that is. Then, find some friends you can trust. It’s difficult but short of therapy its your best shot. And also keep In mind that others around the world do have it much worse. When you look at it from a world perspective the fact that we have running tap water makes our lives so great. There’s always some sort of upside. You could try to be a bit tougher tho. Next time they give you shit give them a piece of your mind. Lrt them know that you demand respect. If they don’t realize that your serious just leave them. You should not be around people that negatively affect your self worth. Especially if it’s your husband and immediate family, the people who should care about you most. Making changes is really hard and starting fresh is even harder but (and here comes a sports analogy) you’ll never know how fast your best lap time is if you only ever swim one lap. So evaluate your options and go where you think you will truly be happy because without happiness life is just a phase.

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